Halyna Kruk, translated from the Ukrainian by Ali Kinsella and Dzvinia Orlowsky

• • •

a sense of loss overtakes you on a deserted night road
like a strange dog, suspiciously like the one
you had as a kid,
it looks at you, as if it wants to recognize you, sniffs

don’t let the black dog near you
my late grandmother taught me
don’t turn your back on it
show your fear
make sudden movements

it’s not me, it’s my fear looking anxiously at the dog, grandma
not me, it’s my experience of loss expecting the worst,
it knows that death exists for those who remain alive

come here, my dog, I have so much for you
tell me how it’s going—living when
all your people have died

wag your tail at me, nuzzle me, take me by the hand
go for my throat

black hole

love leaves a hole in a woman’s heart the size of a man

dream first, then measure, minimize, exaggerate,
understate, stay far from the edge

God, don’t listen to the woman in love, the disappointed woman,
the abandoned woman—don’t listen to any of them,
they themselves don’t understand what they’re asking

love leaves a hole in the woman’s heart the size of another woman
a gaping void, a lacuna that cannot be sealed,
antimatter, a blast wave, a prayer for revenge,
God, don’t walk on

love leaves a hole in the woman’s heart the size of God

lost in living

I grew as wise as an owl
words now avoid me

perhaps, they’re afraid
and that writing desk in the corner

whose upper mouth is locked
where’s the key?

but sometimes something falls out
of your head neither heavy, nor light      

like a road
and you think you’ll move

towards her, windmill-lighthouse,
but there’s nothing there

no clue, no hook—
what’s she called, who is she,

however you name her
please give me something to write with

and that lined thing underneath it,
or maybe not

• • •

no news comes from cities that don’t exist
all that holds us there, an umbilical cord

no one to cut it, too fearful to gnaw through
cirrus clouds shroud the city that isn’t there

snow falls deep to conceal
birds besiege the city that doesn’t exist—

black, shiny, predatory, delicious carrion and flesh
in the city that doesn’t exist, nothing to leave for later

everything that was here—is not with us
everything that’s not with us—is never

everything that’s never pierces
the heart that beats to bleeding

like boys after school
merciless and angry,
wild with pain